need help editing poem collection rough draft

Below is the original assignment. I have attached the my rough draft of the collection. I need help with the editing so I can submit the final. Thanks!

Original Assignment:

Poetry Collection Draft

Taking into consideration the different poetic examples in the reading assignments, you will explore the process of drafting and revising a short collection of poems. Please compose three poems. The first poem will be based off of one of the styles found in Chapter 28 in Three Genres. The second poem will focus on making a list of ten images you have seen in the last 24 hours. From this list, you will develop a poem that incorporates them in some way. The third poem focuses on free verse style (see Chapter 34 in Three Genres.)

There are no length requirements for these pieces aside from the examples set in the readings. Pay particular attention to both content and structure. In poetry, the balance between these two represents the foundation of the creative process. Choose the best words for what you want to convey – don’t settle.

Poems in this assignment should focus on maintaining the balance of content and structure, word choice, line breaks, rhyme, and meter. The secondary focus should be the ordering of the three pieces and the presentation as a collection. Consider how these poems work together even if they seem to be striving towards doing different things.

Notes From the Professor:

Nice work on this collection. You’re off to a good start. You draw on some great images in your first poem, but it is unfortunately not a haiku. A haiku is a poem that is in the 5,7,5 syllable format and that’s it. You have written many haikus rather than just one. In your second, while you have some good images your grammar was a bit off in spots. I have outlined this in your in-text notes. I think if you work a bit on the wordiness you will find a solid poem within your words. In your third poem I would recommend playing around with some punctuation, as it will definitely help with flow. You did have some strong alliteration in this that really worked well in keeping us engaged, but it did read more as a paragraph from a story rather than a poem. Some of your stanzas are very long in your second and third poem. I suggest tightening them up a bit. With poetry, we don’t need as much length or “story” to get the scene across. Poetry should be more fluid. Please review my in-text notes on formatting and length. I’m looking forward to your final!

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